why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
