He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
