Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
