I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
