woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
