Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
