Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
