My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
