Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How naked do you want me to be?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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