I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
