He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
