Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
