I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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