Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
