had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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