I am in a vortex of obligation.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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