You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
