i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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