i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
