I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
