Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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