I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
