i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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