is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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