pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
