She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
