Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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