im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
