What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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