Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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