I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
