doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
high people should be assigned attendants
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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