Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I look better un-naked...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
