you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
