Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
