Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
