We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
