is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
