I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
