Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
