I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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