I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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