"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
