The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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