So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
