I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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