just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
