Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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