thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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