I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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