She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
