I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
