im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
